Stiffapalooza!!!!!!!

Every time I see one of those SMART cars, I wonder where the rest of the car went.

In a pizza shop, there's one thing that's sacred, and that's the Rotation.  The Rotation is how you decide who gets what deliveries, basically the way it works is first driver in gets the first delivery out of the oven, to insure a degree of fairness as to who gets the good and the bad runs.

You don't break the Rotation, for that makes you what we call a Snake.  Snakes are lower than pond scum in the pizza driver's mindset by taking the good deliveries and skipping the bad deliveries.  The only way to deal with a Snake is to beat him at his own game, even colluding with other drivers if need be.  Fortunately for me, I've never had to really deal with a Snake.

There's nothing more agitating than delivering to the same people multiple times in a week that live in government assisted housing and don't ever tip a penny.  The way I see it, if you want to live off the government and have them subsidize your rent, give you your shiny little EBT card, then you should have to live off the government food.  Every time I dispatch a delivery, my pay drops $2 an hour, and when I have to deliver to such people that never tip, and you compound it that part of the taxes I pay goes to them to pay for the food I'm bringing them, well it just pisses me off.  There is no sense of personal responsibility in this country, only a sense of entitlement, just like people that get pregnant and have children with no means to pay for them or can't financially afford to raise them, they have their hands out just as well expecting the government to give them money.

I had a stretch of deliveries tonight, 7 total, where I was stiffed 5 times, given a 14cent tip once and then a $1.59 tip.  I "affectionately" referred to this stretch as Stiffapalooza! 

The first week of the month always sucks for tips, mainly because everybody just got their check.  Nothing like taking 25 deliveries and averaging $1.50/delivery.  Awesome Sauce!

I can't speak for independent pizza restaurants, but the Big 3 chains (Papa John's, Pizza Hut and Domino's) all charge a delivery charge, which varies from store to store and location to location.  The delivery charge is often mistaken as a tip for the driver, its not a tip for the driver at all, it goes directly to the store.   Its nothing more than a sneaky way for the store to charge more money for the pizzas while being able to advertise these ridiculous low price points that they are offering. 

Okay, I'm done complaining, here's a few humorous things that usually tell me I'm not getting tipped:

• When I knock on the door and I hear "Who is it?"... actually it usually sounds like "Whoizit?".   Honestly, who the hell do you think it is?  You called a pizza place about 30 minutes ago, most likely its the guy bringing your pizza Einstein.
• If they mention anything about the weather, that's never a good sign.  I love when people say to me "Wow its cold out here" or "The rain's really coming down", as if I haven't noticed since I've only been outside delivering all night in it.  The last thing I need is an amateur Al Roker giving me a weather update that I already know about.
• If they have any University of Alabama paraphernalia, you're screwed.

That's all I have for now, I might add to my list in the future, but as for now, I'm calling it a night.