Tucker Carlson...

You overprentitious cocksucker, go fuck yourself.

If anybody missed it, Tucker had this to say about Michael Vick today:

"I'm a Christian. I've made mistakes myself. I believe fervently in second chances. But Michael Vick killed dogs. And he did so in a heartless and cruel way. And I think, personally, he should've been executed for that."

Really?  Executed?  You're serious.  First of all, I want to preface this with the fact that I like animals of all shapes and sizes and wouldn't ever do anything to intentionally harm any.  However, I do love me some beef, pork, chicken, and turkey.... and just because I like anmials doesn't mean that I'm going to stop eating them.  I  have owned quite a few dogs in my life time and I don't want harm to come to them.

What happened with Vick a few years back was horrible.  The whole situation -- the dogfighting, the killing of the dogs -- was sick.  Vick violated laws that we have in this country, and he was sentenced accordingly.  He went to jail, he served his time, and he didn't complain about it one bit, and as far as I know, he's lived a pretty much model life since then.  Personally I don't like him or what he did, but I don't have a problem with him back in the NFL and good for him for having success this year.

Let's break down Tucker's quote here:

1. "I'm a Christian."  What does that have to do with anything?  Does that give you an excuse to be a hypocritical idiot?
2. "I've made mistakes myself. I believe fervently in second chances."  Apparently, you don't.  You believe fervently in second chances for only some people.  Again, a hypocritical idiot.
3. "But Michael Vick killed dogs. And he did so in a heartless and cruel way."  What if he had killed cows or slaughtered pigs?  Why are dogs so much more special than other animals?  Maybe we should have a special provision to protect all the 'cute' animals so you can sleep better at night.
4. "And I think, personally, he should've been executed for that."  And I think, personally, you're a hypocritical idiot for saying that.  What good would of come out of executing Mike Vick for killing dogs?  What good comes out of executing anybody?  None really, in my opinion.

Tucker, do the rest of us a favor, next time you decide to speak out about something, take your bow tie and shove it in your mouth, you hypocritical idiot.

Do you believe in miracles?

Okay, so the Lions have won 3 games in a row, including.... 2 in a row on the road.

I bold that phrase because of its significance.  This is the Detroit Lions, a team that, before the win against Tampa Bay, had lost 26 games in a row on the road.  You only play 8 road games a year, so that's 3 full seasons plus 2 games of another since the last time they won.

Furthermore, if you want to look at the last time the Lions played back to back road games in consecutive weeks and won both of them, you have to go back to October of 1993, when they won at the Los Angeles Rams and Minnesota Vikings in back to back weeks.  That's over 17 years.  6,266 days.  The Rams haven't been in Los Angeles since 1994 for crying out loud. 

Winning on the road for the Lions didn't used to be such a difficult job, until Matt Millen-- aka The Grinch that Destroyed the Lions-- came to town.  Its been a major level of futility of epic proportions. 

That Lions team back in 1993 was one of the best ones I could remember.  Barry Sanders, Herman Moore, Brett Perriman, and the offense was dominant.  They went 10-6 and won the NFC Central Division. 

The thing that is impressing me most about these Lions are the players they are winning with.  2nd and 3rd stringers, along with guys that didn't have a NFL job about a month ago.  The last few years of Lions teams by Thanksgiving would of mentally packed their bags and called it a season.  This team doesn't give up, they fight to the end, and the best example to me was the last play of the game yesterday.  Ronnie Brown was trying to jump over Nathan Vasher and get out of bounds to stop the clock, and Vasher grabbed him in mid-air and slammed him to the turf, and the clock ran out before Miami could run another play. 

Jim Schwartz and Martin Mayhew are changing the culture of this organization.  Schwartz said a lot of similar things that other head coaches have said upon taking the job, but unlike those who preceeded him, he is starting to deliver on those.  Granted, some of that has to do with having someone who appears competent in what he does as far as acquiring players, but Schwartz and his staff is getting more out of these players than previous coaches got out of their squads. 

There's one more game in the season, and its a home game vs Minnesota.  It sure would be nice to end this year on a 4 game winning streak and 6-10 overall, especially when you consider the previous 2 years they were 2-30.  Either way, the future is finally looking bright for us fans of the Honolulu Blue.

Merry Christmas Everybody!!!

We have a White Christmas in Tennessee, first time I can remember as long as I've lived down here.  Here's a couple pics:



Quit dropping objects off I-75 overpasses, you moron(s)!!!

 A few weeks, back, a small motor was dropped off an overpass on I-75 and crashed through the window of a charter bus, luckily the driver was able to stop the bus and nobody was injured except for some minor injuries to him.  Last night, someone dropped a mailbox onto the top of a tractor-trailer, luckily the trucker wasn't hurt, and fortunately he got a good look at the person who did this.  I hope they find this moron or morons and drop him off a bridge somewhere.  Sooner or later if they don't catch this guy, someone's going to get seriously hurt.

Upon further investigation, back in November someone threw a mailbox off an overpass at another truck, which broke that truck's windshield and injured the driver.  What the hell is wrong with people? 

How could I forget?

2 wins in a row for the Lions!  They won on the road also for the first time in 26 games, which is very significant when you consider they only play 8 games on the road each season.  Its great having that feeling all day on a Sunday, as miserable as the Lions have been these past few years.  I'm hoping that they can finish these last 4 games with at least a 3-1 record and use it as a foundation to build on a more successful season in 2011.

So... last night I ended up having to close, even though I was scheduled to be off after the rush, due to someone not being able to work, which sucked because I sort of had plans last evening, but hell, the extra money I guess is worth it.  I'm kind of tired though of being one of the very few employees that are dependable, which means that I tend to cover the slack of others.  I feel obligated in a way, because my roommate was the other closer last night, and I wasn't going to let him get screwed over, but I'd much rather have done my own thing last night that I originally intended on doing.

Nothing like having my last 2 deliveries of the night, both of which were after the closing time of midnight not tip me at all.  By the way, if you're going to be a dumb drunk bastard and order pizza, you should assume that your food is coming soon and listen for the door to be knocked on.  It never fails.

I've been trying to be a better person overall lately, doing nice things for random strangers just to be nice, maybe its the December thing to do, I dunno.  I stopped at a Hardee's after a delivery the other night because I was starving, and the girl working the drive thru was friendly and joking around about where her pizza was and stuff like that.  Most of the time when people say "Where's my pizza?" it annoys the heck out of me, because they are either rude about it or just plain morons, as if they expect there to be a pizza oven in the back of my car.  However, she was friendly and joking around, and said if I headed back that way that she'd love a cheesy bread.

When I got back to the store, I saw that the delivery after the one I was about to take was headed back down by Hardee's, so I did something I have never done before, and may never do again:  I ordered a cheesy bread and had it made.  When I returned from the delivery, I took the cheesy bread with me as I went to the delivery and stopped at the drive-thru window.  I handed it to her, and she was genuinely surprised and happy.  I said to her "This is something I've never done, and I can't guarantee that I will ever do it again, but you were nice and friendly and made my evening better by making me laugh, so here you go.  Merry Christmas."

Nothing much else is going on lately with me, just had my last class until after the holiday break.  I have quite a lot of homework I need to work on that will keep me busy.  Each of my classes has a final project to do, so I figure the quicker I get started on them, the easier it will be at the end of the quarter. 

Well, I'm gonna go for now and watch The Professional.  Great movie with Jean Reno and Natalie Portman in one of her first roles ever.  Jean Reno plays a hitman named Leon and Natalie Portman plays his young neighbor Matilda who he takes in after a group of corrupt DEA agents (lead by Gary Oldman, one hell of a character actor in his own right) kills her family.  They develop a relationship and he helps her get her revenge.  Great movie, if you haven't seen it, watch it.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

Lions win!  Somehow, with Drew Stanton "quarterbacking" the team, they win 7-3.  What a game by the defense!  Its been forever and a day since I saw the defense of the Lions play like this.  I hope these last few games can be used to build something significant in the offseason and 2011.

Tonight was kind of a weird day for a Saturday.  It all started out with a meeting at 9am, which was really productive in the results at work tonight.  There needs to be an html sarcasm tag.  We have Bold, Italic, Underline... sure would be nice to show sarcasm.  That's one thing that sucks about written communication, even via the internet, sarcasm somehow gets lost. I tend to be a very sarcastic person, and while I know its reffered to as the lowest form of wit, its the easiest and my favorite type of wit.  Wednesday at class, my teacher was taking our contact information and putting it in his phone, and when he saw that I had a 423 area code, he asked where I lived.  I replied that I lived in Athens, and he asked if I drove all the way here (45 minute drive to the campus).  I quickly retorted "beats the hell out of walking."  Rest of the class got a chuckle out of that one.   That's who I am though.  I'm a sarcastic jerk.  Sue me.

 However, I'm tired of being negative about my co-workers, and I'm moving more towards being apathetic about them.  I'm really hoping that something comes through and I can move on to a different field because sometimes I wonder how much more of this I can take.  I wish I would of started this program sooner than I did, so I would be closer to completing it, but at least I'm starting it now.  I don't need any motivation to keep getting good grades and getting closer to graduation, all I have to do is look at my diminishing list of runs and paltry tips to keep me moving.

I took a delivery earlier tonight to a factory, the customer paid for the order on a credit card.  The total was $23.40, and she wrote a $2.60 tip on there, and after adding it up she totaled it at $25.00.  I know what all you math majors out there are thinking, "Hey!  $23.40 and $2.60 doesn't equal $25.00!"  You would be correct in that assessment.  Since the amount on the total line is what gets entered into the computer, I ended up with only $1.60 tip.  Nothing like someone else's inability to carry a one in basic mathematics to cost you money.  At least it was only a dollar though, not  a huge deal to me, just funny.  Not funny ha-ha, mind you, more like look at the size of that forehead funny.

My last delivery of the night was quite wonderful too.  I don't know about you, but when I'm staying at a hotel and order a pizza for delivery, I like to turn the lights off, put in my headphones and listen to my ipod.  That way, when the delivery driver arrives with my food, he can knock 3 times on the door and I don't answer it.  Seriously people, when you order pizza, have a reasonable expectation that its going to be on its way in the near future.   While I'm at it, don't say "Whoizit" when I knock on the door.  Who do you think it is, you moron?  You called us, we didn't call you.

Well I'm gonna wrap this up on a positive note, with a picture I took a couple weeks back.  As I was leaving for work one day, I noticed a doe in the tall grass near the house.  I ended up taking her picture with my cell phone:

I don't know how well you can see it, but if you look to the right of the tree, just left of the pole in the distance, you can see her in the tall grass. 

So I know its been a few days since I last posted, but its been a somewhat uneventful week for me, other than starting classes.  Its been pretty damn cold around here the last few days, although I don't let it phase me much, being from Michigan I'm used to cold weather and it takes a lot to get me really cold.  While my coworkers are running around with jackets on, I'm out there working in short sleeves.  Taking the time to put on and take off a jacket also wastes time, there's always 2 ways to make money when you're delivering, quantity and quality.  You can't always rely on quality, but you can on quantity. 

Was reading in the paper today that some woman got pulled over with $55,000 worth of xanax and oxycodone in her vehicle.  She was pulled over for speeding, 77mph in a 70mph zone.  You know, you would think if you were doing something illegal, like driving around with over $50,000 worth of illegal prescription drugs, that you'd try not to do anything that would get you pulled over like speeding.  I know 7mph over isn't huge, and even I tend to drive that when I'm on the interstate, but then if I get pulled over, all I know is the worst thing that's happening to me is I'm getting a ticket, not a trip to the slammer. Idiot.

Just saw my grades for the last quarter...

4.0... Ho Hum.

Watching Kentucky and Carolina playing basketball... great game, lots of pace and 42-40 at the half, unfortunately, Gus "Screaming" Johnson and Clark "Captain Obvious" Kellogg are doing the commentary.  Hello mute button!

Stiffapalooza!!!!!!!

Every time I see one of those SMART cars, I wonder where the rest of the car went.

In a pizza shop, there's one thing that's sacred, and that's the Rotation.  The Rotation is how you decide who gets what deliveries, basically the way it works is first driver in gets the first delivery out of the oven, to insure a degree of fairness as to who gets the good and the bad runs.

You don't break the Rotation, for that makes you what we call a Snake.  Snakes are lower than pond scum in the pizza driver's mindset by taking the good deliveries and skipping the bad deliveries.  The only way to deal with a Snake is to beat him at his own game, even colluding with other drivers if need be.  Fortunately for me, I've never had to really deal with a Snake.

There's nothing more agitating than delivering to the same people multiple times in a week that live in government assisted housing and don't ever tip a penny.  The way I see it, if you want to live off the government and have them subsidize your rent, give you your shiny little EBT card, then you should have to live off the government food.  Every time I dispatch a delivery, my pay drops $2 an hour, and when I have to deliver to such people that never tip, and you compound it that part of the taxes I pay goes to them to pay for the food I'm bringing them, well it just pisses me off.  There is no sense of personal responsibility in this country, only a sense of entitlement, just like people that get pregnant and have children with no means to pay for them or can't financially afford to raise them, they have their hands out just as well expecting the government to give them money.

I had a stretch of deliveries tonight, 7 total, where I was stiffed 5 times, given a 14cent tip once and then a $1.59 tip.  I "affectionately" referred to this stretch as Stiffapalooza! 

The first week of the month always sucks for tips, mainly because everybody just got their check.  Nothing like taking 25 deliveries and averaging $1.50/delivery.  Awesome Sauce!

I can't speak for independent pizza restaurants, but the Big 3 chains (Papa John's, Pizza Hut and Domino's) all charge a delivery charge, which varies from store to store and location to location.  The delivery charge is often mistaken as a tip for the driver, its not a tip for the driver at all, it goes directly to the store.   Its nothing more than a sneaky way for the store to charge more money for the pizzas while being able to advertise these ridiculous low price points that they are offering. 

Okay, I'm done complaining, here's a few humorous things that usually tell me I'm not getting tipped:

• When I knock on the door and I hear "Who is it?"... actually it usually sounds like "Whoizit?".   Honestly, who the hell do you think it is?  You called a pizza place about 30 minutes ago, most likely its the guy bringing your pizza Einstein.
• If they mention anything about the weather, that's never a good sign.  I love when people say to me "Wow its cold out here" or "The rain's really coming down", as if I haven't noticed since I've only been outside delivering all night in it.  The last thing I need is an amateur Al Roker giving me a weather update that I already know about.
• If they have any University of Alabama paraphernalia, you're screwed.

That's all I have for now, I might add to my list in the future, but as for now, I'm calling it a night. 

I Hate Matt Millen

You suck.

First of all, being a  Detroit native, I am a life-long Detroit Lions fan.  For most of this decade, the Lions were cursed by having an inept boob for a general manager named Matt Millen.  This flaming bag of moron was originally a pretty good linebacker in the NFL, and after his retirement went into broadcasting, where he appeared to be pretty knowledgeable and was looked to as John Madden's future replacement on FOX broadcasts.  Then for some reason, the Lions decided to hire him to run their football operations.  Biggest Epic Fail Ever.

Even though he destroyed the Lions franchise so badly that Brian Billick referred to what Millen did as "criminal", he has somehow parlayed his ineptness into a bunch of new broadcasting jobs.  He does commentary on college games for ESPN (most often Big 10 games, which means that most Lions fans get to watch him do Michigan and Michigan State games, basically ESPN sticking their middle finger at us), he's also on the Monday Night Football studio crew (which is fun at times because Steve Young gets him pissed off, like in this video:)


Matt Millen shouts at Steve Young

The shit-eating grin that Young has on his face at the end of the video is priceless.

The third broadcasting job that Millen has is the Thursday Night NFL games, which means I can't enjoy these games with the sound on because every time I hear that idiot say something I want to punch babies, especially when he talks about a coach he hired, for example, Marty Mornhinweg, who was such a genius he took the wind in an overtime game instead of the ball against the Chicago Bears, which led to the Bears driving straight down the field and winning the game.   Another person he's mentioned tonight is Andre Johnson of the Houston Texans, the same Andre Johnson he passed on to take Charles Rogers.  I know what most of you are thinking.  Who's Charles Rogers?   He was a wide reciever out of Michigan State University that was only good at breaking his collarbone and then failed drug test after drug test to knock himself out of the league.  Thanks a lot, idiot.

Great, now Dan Orlovsky is coming in, the retard that stepped out of the back of the end zone and gave Minnesota a safety during the 0-16 season.  That's right, Millen is the architect of the only NFL team in history to go 0-16.  I'll give him credit, he worked hard at accomplishing this goal, only took him 7 years.